in My eyes

I love my skin.

I am pale like the columns in Alicante.

Foundation is hard to come by but I can wear any hair color. 

Because I'm alibaster porcelain ivory

Fair

Oh so very fair.

I love my face

That smile 

Those hypnotizing blue eyes

You once told me,

You're so beautiful when you're being sincere

But dear,

I am always sincere

And so must then always be

Beautiful

I love how unfiltered I am

Open 

Recklessly communicative

Rigorously honest

Forthcoming

Intense love

When I love

It consumes

Delights but never overwhelms me

I love you

Of course I do

Always have

In spite of you must continue

But love in abundance

Incessantly

Freely

More than you and you alone

I fucking love my sex drive

No one

Never

Any

Ever

Has kept up with my body 

You promised excess and made overtures

Plans to conquer my flesh in public stadiums 

In front of mirrors while tearing my skirts clad in a bow tie

But with you it's all words

Dead meaningless words

Meaning nothing of what you say words

None of any of it not one scene

But your icy distance 

I fucking live my words

I always say what I mean

Mean what I feel

Hate

Rage

Lust

Trust

Love

Oh, aching endless love

Me

I trust my instincts 

Boundaries 

I believe in my heart 

And the energy 

I've created

It's felt

Received

And I compel 

Intrigue 

Please the eyes of strangers

So many smiling strangers

Who have and will 

And to my sheer delight 

Continue

To devour my skin my essence 

My journey 

Sexplorative study

The very core you so detest

Wretched waste of my precious time

I love all that I am

Even the parts that will you to vanish

No, cry

Weep for every choked breath you racked my heart

For each time I fought back the dry heaves of anxiety 

No other has caused

Would that I could time travel 

I'd step back into that red dress, 

To that pavement outside that bar

That curse'd fucking bar

And as you leaned down to kiss me

I would stop 

And quietly say No

No, broken one,

Your toxic dance must play without my song

And I would walk away, and smile,

Never turning around to see you dumbfounded, stunned

If I had one moment in time I'd take back my body 

My luscious vibrant body 

The light you nearly devoured in me

And I'd go home

To the life I loved before you

The life I'm reassembling after you

The woman I was am still 

In love with 

As I am

All I am

Never again allowing your poison to darken my glowing skin.