Too Much for Even the Biggest Pricks

So I solved the mystery of the IG Block. 

It was another woman. 

Or rather. 

I was the other woman. 

I've been cast in that role so many times I'm beginning to think I'm being type cast. 

Except anyone who thinks I should be waiting in the wings instead of front & center, cue spotlight, hold applause,

Clearly hasn't met me.

I'm not the Supporting Actress. 

I'm the DIVA. 

'This girl I'm in a relationship with, she's not my girlfriend, wasn't comfortable with the level of intimacy between us on social media.'

I don't know what I was expecting him to say but it definitely wasn't that. 

I'm sorry. 

What??!

All I commented on the picture was, "What a doll."

So your not girlfriend is feeling possessive about some gorgeous woman calling you a doll & your knee jerk reaction is to block me?

She does know we fucked, right?

Or is that not obvious to the entire female sex that you're incapable of monogamy?

He's like a modern day Don Juan or Don Draper, minus the alcoholism. 

But I didn't care!

Hell.

He was a Transition. 

Every woman needs a great lay after a great heartache & I treasured my time with him. 

It was exactly what I needed. 

I just thought we were on the same page about how casual it all was.

I didn't realize he thought I was monograming our matching robes. 

I don't think anything is more frustrating to me than when someone has the wrong impression of me. 

I went on several dates with this one guy ages ago & I thought things were going swimmingly. 

He was a total Baldwin & I felt like I could be myself with him. 

I imagined he would eventually become FBO & we'd post all sorts of annoyingly cute photos together. 

Then on our last date he said, "I wanna know what you're really like. You seem disingenuous. No one is that bubbly all the time."

I was LIVID. 

I haven't walked out on very many dates. But I gave that guy the what for & stormed out of there. 

I may be a lot of things.

I may be Histrionic & a Drama Queen, I may be emotional & uncensored. I may even be bat shit crazy. 

But I am NOT disingenuous. 

I'm the most genuine woman you'll ever meet!

The same guy told me he didn't like the way my outfits attracted attention from other men.

I thought men wanted every other guy in the room to admire the gal on his arm?

And among the other asinine ramblings of Ireland, he said he was weirded out that I'd created a GoFund account. 

OhMyGod!

It was a joke!

A fucking joke!

"I don't have to explain my art to you."

(Name the movie reference, have Baller Status).

It was also an experiment. 

I kinda wanted to see if anyone would actually donate. 

I mean, who the hell am I to ask anyone for anything?

But why the hell not?

Sheldon is always trying to convince me to stream on Twitch because those broads make stacks of cash. 

And ultimately, I would like to make money doing these projects. 

Because I love doing them. 

And isn't getting paid to do what we love everyone's goal?

So after his long distance kiss off I went to my GoFund site to delete it. 

Because it weirded him out & I was never gonna see him again anyway. 

So why not. 

And then I saw it. 

I'd received a donation. 

Holy shit. 

It worked!

Years ago I used to blog all the time. 

I was sassy & unfiltered. 

And I loved sharing my diary with the world. 

One entry I'd offended a bunch of people at work & I doubted myself & thought, Maybe I should be more censored. Maybe I should stop writing all together. 

And that same week I got an invite to a casting call for a movie. 

A girl who'd never seen me act, but who followed my blog wanted me to audition. 

She wrote that there was a part she thought would suit me well, because of my spunk & personality. And that the role demanded a lot from the actor & if I was that raw & vulnerable with my writing that must translate into my acting as well. 

My blog landed me a film audition. 

I got cast which led to all sorts of other connections & opportunities. 

And I almost silenced myself for THEM. 

And I almost took down my GoFund for HIM.

And I am done thinking I need to change for those that can't handle me. 

I'm not like everyone else. 

And I'm not for everyone. 

But that's part of what makes me so fucking fabulous. 

FUCK YEAH. 

*the gofund will no longer be for getting me to Ireland. But it will be for going somewhere. Where? We'll just have to wait & see*