And then I get mixed up in someone else's dysfunctional relationship and I think--
I am so fucking thankful I'm not dealing with THAT.
My friend is dating a wackadoo.
Don't get me wrong I'M fucking crazy.
But it's a real eye opener when I encounter another female who makes me look catatonic by comparison.
I went to Vegas once with a girlfriend and her friends were all so insanely insane that I was the wallflower of the group.
ME!!
Can you fucking imagine?
I felt like I was in an episode of the Twighlight Zone.
It was so bizarre I couldn't handle it.
I'M THE LOUD OBNOXIOUS ONE, PEOPLE!!!
I've heard stories from girlfriends dating controlling men who forbid them from seeing certain friends or from doing certain activities.
But this is the first time in my life I've known of a controlling WOMAN forbidding her boyfriend from seeing his friend.
If there was any doubt he certainly loves his wackadoo (that sounds like a euphemism for his penis--Teehee! Penis!) because only LOVE would make somebody stupid enough to agree to such a request.
I don't really blame him because I know love has made me blind to blaringly obvious red flags.
(SEE It's unhealthy when your girlfriend wants you to have no friends except for her.)
But everyone is free to make their own choices.
(Even if it's the wrong choice.)
Just as I am free to write about whatever the fuck I want.
Like, I retract my previous statement that my friend, Sheldon, found his Amy Farrah Fowler.
Amy was never threatened by Penny's rocking body or afraid that Sheldon would trip and land penis first inside her. Amy never felt the need to banish Penny from their tiny circle of friends.
No, this dear nut bar is like the crazy undergrad student that wouldn't let Sheldon do anything with anyone except work with her by his side.
Mean Mommies are definitely the sexy sirens all men dream of marrying.
I said you can't play with him anymore! His Mommy wears low cut shirts and uses words like 'orgasmic!' I don't want you around someone like THAT!
Eventually, because Sheldon is a smart man, he will realize he doesn't want to spend his entire life with an immature little girl who doesn't believe in giving him the freedom or respect to be who he really is and have the people who matter to him in his life.
I love my friend enough to let him make his own mistakes.
Because I RESPECT his choices.
Unlike the Wackadoo of Wackylvania.
Hey, we all make stupid choices.
I thought I was supposed to get back together with Sheldon after I broke up with him all those years ago.
And I was fucking mistaken.
But I had to figure that out myself.
No one could tell me otherwise because I was convinced we were meant to be.
But we weren't.
And I want Sheldon to end up with his Amy Farrah Fowler.
He just has to realize he hasn't found her yet.
Because the real Amy will trust Sheldon.
Not try to control and isolate him.
And when he does, when Sheldon figures it out, we will go to Santeria and laugh about it, like we do over all the wrong people we date.
Because there have been a lot.
For both of us.
And we've both been there through all of it.
I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
I've been there for Sheldon for years, we've been through so much together.
And this, THIS shit is not going to destroy all that.
I know that.
And he does too.
I T R U S T H I M.
No comments:
Post a Comment