He was referring to the unopened IKEA shelves I thought I'd hidden behind the door.
"Oh. Uh....I don't know, like 3 weeks," I lied.
He laughed at me.
As if to say, silly little messy girl living in all her chaos.
But he really didn't know the half of it.
How long had those shelves been there?? Three weeks?! Three months?! Try YEARS.
Like, I don't even know if I was still dating Sheldon when I bought them.
That was a LONG time ago, my friends.
And the damn shelves never got put up.
Ireland asked me about those shelves almost six months ago.
Even that feels like a lifetime ago.
And the shelves have been ignored several lifetimes.
I'm not handy.
I didn't know how to plunge a toilet when I moved to Rhode Island.
That was seven years ago.
I may have many gifts and talents but when it comes to basic living I suck.
Like if I were a wildabeast I'd be the weak one the hyenas separate from the herd and eat for lunch.
I would be the one on Survivor that has a mental breakdown & has to have an emergency helicopter rescue me & take me to the looney bin.
I need help.
That's just it.
I need others to help me in the areas I suck it.
Ireland shouldn't have made fun of me for having my unmounted shelves in the corner.
He should have helped me put them up.
And so should have Sheldon.
But he never did.
No one did.
I bought the shelves for the sole purpose of displaying my hats.
I have lots of things I love but my hats are probably the things I own that make me the most happy.
(Next to my jewelry & Chanel bags, of course).
And I'd love for them to be beautifully displayed.
And instead they've been smooshed on top of each other in bags in the corner.
Unseen and disorganized.
And I hate it.
But I never did anything about it because I told you, I suck at things.
So somehow the topic of my unfinished shelves came up during a girls night with two of my newest & dearest friends.
"Oh we'll totally come over & help. It's no problem," she reassured me.
And like most good intentions, I assumed it would never happen because people don't actually come over & put your shelves up for you.
The men I fucked didn't even do that.
So you can imagine my surprise when my friend called me a few days later and said, "So what time should we come over tonight?"
I couldn't believe it.
This is actually happening? This isn't like when you run into an old acquaintance you haven't seen in forever & you're both like, 'we should get together soon' even though neither of you means it.
So they came over, tools and all.
And my shelf got put up.
Well.
Almost.
There was some technical difficulties because IKEA is a motherfucker but my Dad came over the next day and finished it.
Because Dad's always come to the rescue.
And after all this time, I finally have my favorite hats on display.
And every time I look at the shelf I feel loved.
Because for every person who won't help or be what I need, there is someone who will.
And it's nice to remember that, to remember what that feels like.
To remember that exists.
I'm gonna need like, 10 more shelves, now.
I have a lot of fucking hats.
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