Happy Fucking Valentine's Day.
Penguins
A landscape
Your ex girlfriend's face.
A carnation.
That's not even a good flower.
That Facebook default silhouette.
Seriously, with all the selfies in the world you couldn't just Google one?
A photo of you as a five year old.
Are you telling me you want me to be a pedophile?
A truck.
Three trucks.
We know all you own is a Vespa.
A lion.
A monkey.
If you don't have 6 pictures of yourself then just put up 4.
Don't put up a chimpanzee.
What exactly do you think that does for us?
You flipping off the camera.
You flipping off the camera again.
You flipping off the camera in a shirtless bathroom selfie.
You are essentially flipping yourself off, Jack.
You're telling yourself to go fuck yourself.
I mean I'm all for masturbation but that feels a little ridiculous.
Your age says you're 103.
Older guys are sexy but I think you might be taking it too far.
You're drinking in the shower.
It's a shirtless bathroom selfie in the shower.
And you're drinking.
Oh, who am I kidding, that's kind of awesome.
A fortune cookie.
A chocolate martini.
A cartoon Easter bunny dressed as superman.
I mean, what the actual fuck?
A motorcycle.
Two motorcycles.
Two pictures of the same motorcycle.
I get it. You don't have a car.
Psy from gangnam style.
Actually that totally made me laugh. Well done.
When you cut your head out of the photo and it's just your torso.
It's creepy as fuck.
I really don't wanna fuck a headless guy.
Not on Valentine's Day.
Jesus.
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