Thursday, March 19, 2015

Dating Portlandia: The Best First Date Ever

I'd only been to Pepe le Moko once and it was with Ireland last summer. 
Which seemed somehow fitting because I'd actually met my date then. 
He worked at one of the other bars Ireland took me to. 
And he'd made me the best sazerac I'd ever had. 
And a few weeks ago, passing Pepe with Sheldon, he'd commented, "I heard that place is really good."
Yeah. I know. 
I'd been there. 

It's named after some old french film and the inside decor is based off the movie as well.
It's dark and sexy and the walls seem faded like the bar was around when your grandparents were sipping Old Fashioneds on dates. 

I was actually kind of nervous. 
I don't get nervous. 
Who gets nervous?
He'll either like me or he won't. 
Who cares?

I walked into the bar and the host immediately asked me, in a low husky voice, "Are you Teresa?"
Stunned, I stuttered out a hesitant yes.
"Follow me," he said, as methodically as he started walking down the stairs.

I had worn my finest Tadashi dress, with sheer layers of chiffon and lace. 
But even dressed like a fine lady, I couldn't help myself.
"What am I in a fucking movie?!!"
I couldn't see the host's face, as he was walking in front of me, but I'm sure I felt him smile. 
How could he not?

He led me toward the back of the bar where my date sat. 
My date rose to greet me and my heart did a stupid flutter of excitement. 
God, he was tall. 
6'4".
Lanky.
And he was wearing a bow tie. 
I fucking love bow ties. 
Standing before me was the description of the men I have a weakness for on every online dating profile I have. 
And he was my date.

"How did the host know who I was?" I asked. "What did you tell him?"
He smiled a coy, somewhat startled smile. The way you'd smile if your hand was in the cookie jar and you'd turned around to see Mummy disapprovingly catching you.
'Oh. I can't tell you that. Maybe later,' he brushed me off. 

The waiter came by and I ordered an Old Fashioned and shortly thereafter he brought an Old Fashioned my date had ordered before I got there. 
Of course we both ordered Old Fashioneds. 
We both were old fashioned. 
It was fucking ridiculous. 

We proceeded to talk about typical date stuff. 
Hobbies and passions. 
Sex and relationships. 
Work and school and that time we met last summer. 

"I thought you were gay," I admitted. "You were so stylish and charming. I remember thinking you were flirting with my date because you complimented him but you didn't compliment me."
'Whose paying for the drinks?' He asked me. 'And you never hit on a man's date.'
"Oh," I replied, mildly embarrassed. "I guess you know what you're doing."

Originally when we made the date we said we'd just meet for a drink or two. Our actual date was to be a few days later. But as sort of an after thought he suggested a quick drink that night, as well. 
I'd never had a guy make a pre date to our first date.  
Kinda felt a little special, I'm not gonna lie. 

We left the bar and I thought were getting ready to say our goodnights.
He looked at me and said, with earnest, 'I don't want to stop hanging out with you. I want to get another drink with you. But we shouldn't....'
"Why shouldn't we?" I quickly replied. "Let's go get another drink."
And I linked my arm in his and we started walking around the city. 
The first bar we tried to go to was closed. 
Kask. 
The second bar we tried to go to was also closed. 
Driftwood Room. 
But it was such a lovely evening and I was having so much fun just walking together, it was kind of wonderful that they were all closed. 
Like when you're stuck in traffic but your favorite song comes on and you don't even care cuz you're just singing at the top of your lungs. 
'I don't know if it's bad of me to say this,' he started, 'but I feel really proud having you on my arm.'
I beamed. 
Like, literal sparkles jumped out of my eyes.
The last time any man had said he was proud to be with me was Narcissus. 
10 years ago. 

We finally ended up at Cassidy's. 
I don't think I'd been to that bar since my high school reunion. 
Before we walked in I stopped him. 
"Wait. You have to tell me what you told the host. How did he know who I was?"
'Ok,' he acquiesced. 'I'll tell you. I told him my lady was meeting me--'
"My lady!" I interrupted him, giggling. 
'Yes, my lady. I said, My lady is meeting me and you'll know it's her because she'll be the most attractive woman you've seen all day, with red hair, and the brightest smile you've ever seen.'
My mouth fell open. 
"No you didn't."
'Yes, I did.'
Looking into each other's eyes I was aching for him to kiss me. 
He leaned in and brought his mouth close to mine and then said, 'Come on, let's go in.'

I could have killed him. 

We settled in at the bar and sat with our legs all intertwined. 
I thought to myself that if I was there watching us I would have made some comment like, Ohmygod. Gross. Get a room. Ugh.
It was fucking wonderful. 

I don't know how I knew, because we'd been staring at each other stupidly like two lovesick teenagers all night but suddenly the way he looked at me I realized I was going to be kissed. 
He leaned in and gave me the kiss I'd been longing for all night and it was so soft and long and passionate I almost fell off the bar stool.
'That wasn't the song I wanted to have playing in the background when we had our first kiss but I couldn't wait any longer,' he said.
Fucking music majors. 
Too damn adorable. 
And I have no idea what song was playing. 
I was in a puddle, on the floor, wondering how the hell I wound up being cast in such an epic romantic comedy.

There was more after that. 

And somehow our quick little drink of a pre date turned into 5 hours. 

And that was just the beginning. 


.………..............................................



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