Happy Christmas, Stranger

I put up my Christmas tree today and it made me think of Sheldon. 

But not in a sad way. 

He just appeared. 

In my brain. 

Like a sudden flashback or something. 

Your real thought is probably, Why the hell are you putting up your Christmas tree in November?

Well I'll tell you. 

Because I can. 

Also the tree is this golden champagne color and really, I think it needs to be up all year. 

It's stunning. 

When I got the tree out of storage I saw the box of ornaments Sheldon's Mom gave me the year I went there for Thanksgiving. 

I'm fine with people leaving my life.

If you wanna go, then go. 

It's just he really was a big part of mine for a very long time. 

So it would be almost impossible for me to not think of him when I see a Christmas tree. 

I think the strangest part about losing a friend you used to talk to all the time is realizing you can't tell them when something happens. 

I saw the new James Bond today and we'd watched all the other Bond's together. 

I couldn't believe it when the actor who plays Moriarty in Sherlock was in it and I instantly thought of him, since he loves Daniel Craig Bond & Sherlock as much as me.

And then it was like, oh yeah. 

I can't talk to him anymore. 

I talked with a guy this week who loves some of the same video games Sheldon does and I knew all about what he was talking about because of the geek culture Sheldon exposed me to. 

And the guy of course thought I was super cool and maybe I'll have somebody new to play Super Mario 3D World with.

Also my love of all things nerdery makes me want to marry Q from Bond. 

Because a brilliant nerd in glasses is really who I was put on this earth for. 

But the cool thing about remembering Sheldon today was that I wasn't sad anymore. 

I wasn't even mad or resentful. 

I simply felt accepting. 

People are limited. 

And they're not always going to give me what I want. 

And that's ok. 

I believe implicitly the world is full of kindreds for me to spend time with and as much as we overplay the idea that certain people will always hold special places in our hearts. 

We are also the types of creatures who are most easily distracted. 

And the funny thing with memories is you only notice them when you take them out to look at them. 

And when I have so many new, shiny things to look at will I remember to take out the dusty, old memory to see it for what it was?

This is my first year having this tree. 

Next year, I will most assuredly be thinking of something else when I unwrap it from its treasured box.