Excited.
Nervous.
Like, why the heck are you nervous? It's either a hit or not.
What of it?
I walked up to a guy sitting at the bar, Are you George? I asked eagerly.
The guy stared at me blankly with what can only be described as an unenthused smile.
No, he replied and I realized as I looked closer past those thick spectacles that he really didn't look that much like the photos I'd seen.
Oh, he has the same glasses as you, and then I laughed more than I should.
Like I said.
Nervous.
I loved the bar I was at.
They made the best old fashioned in town.
And I'd had several significant dates there.
Though I'd never been there with the Phantom.
Or Sheldon.
That also made me happy.
He walked in and I immediately realized it was him.
Dashing. And tall.
He smiled at me across the room bespectacled like his doppelgänger on the bar stool.
I stood up ready to throw my arms around him but as he got closer he seemed to grow taller.
And more handsome.
Really.
Ridiculously attractive.
And I suddenly felt very flustered.
Oh hey it's nice to meet you, I muttered something to the effect and slowly sat back down like it was a complete accident I'd stood up in the first place.
He leaned down slowly and offered me his arms in a hug that enveloped me.
Oh okay, I thought, yeah that's why I stood up. HUG.
Good Lord, Reese, are you gonna be this cool the whole night?
The next hour was spent in scintillating conversation.
I talked too much and he'd laugh politely.
The waitress I knew came by when he was in the restroom.
Isn't he a doll? I said.
He's really sweet, she replied.
He told me I was funny and energetic and boisterous and a good storyteller, which I decided were all traits I'd love to be the first impression I gave a stranger.
I figured this was either gonna be really short. Or really fun, he flashed his dimples at me.
And I held out from blinking.
Damn.
There are fun dates and sexy dates, amusing and charming ones.
But there are very few who cause you to feel all at once overwhelmed and comfortable at the same time.
I don't even know what that's called but it's incredible.
I was loud and scandalous and open and raw.
I wasn't trying to be anything or anyone.
There were no warning signs that usually appeared on any and every date.
Just a green light.
So we never ended our date.
The part in the story where I usually left, where I always left, at least I have for a very long time, I decided to stay.
The part where I'd disconnect I allowed to be wrapped in his arms.
And when the light danced off my cheeks and I squinted to see his eyes looking into mine, he smiled.
Good morning.
I smiled back.
Is this the part where you make me pancakes?
And he laughed.
If I could sum up my greatest desire into one simple thing it's to make people laugh.
It's like an orgasm for my heart.
We decided on a spot neither of us had tried and as I sipped my coffee from the steel mug I thought, A sleepover and breakfast? Who am I?
It was wonderful.
It turned out I just really liked talking to him.
He was smart and insightful.
Sensitive. Resolved.
He was the kind of guy I'd want to read my short stories if I wrote any.
The kind of guy I'd want to play video games with and wear no makeup around.
He was both sexy and adorable.
A feat few can achieve.
He left in a few days and I knew I might never see him again.
And I actually didn't mind.
In sixteen perfect hours he's managed to change my established pattern and wake me from my complacent reverie.
I didn't know what I was looking for but I knew I wanted the kinds of lovers I'd love getting brunch with as much as I'd love seeing naked.
We left the restaurant and of course our cars were in exact opposite directions.
We hugged and he smiled at me.
At least this time we get to end with a hug instead of an awkward sit down.
I laughed and hugged him again.
It was the perfect thing to say to bring our perfect mini love affair full circle.
I walked back to my car with the rain dancing in my hair.
It was still out there.
That connection.
That feeling that made me want to look up at the sky and let the water fill my lungs.
I was seen.
And delighted in.
And I wasn't afraid anymore.
For the first time in a long time I knew exactly what I wanted.
Connections.
Genuine moments.
They were everywhere.
And I was so glad he reminded me.
I was very glad for him indeed.
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