I watched some video about this artist sharing minutes of silence with strangers and how one of them ended up being a lover she hadn't seen in thirty years.
It was beautiful.
And after I watched it a link for an article appeared, The Absolute Tragedy of Meeting the Love of your Life at the Wrong Time.
As I read it, all I kept thinking was, this is exactly how I feel.
And that's what writing does.
It expresses someone's truth and that truth reminds us we're not alone.
Someone else has felt exactly this.
And that's beautiful.
And instead of feeling sad that I met the love of my life at the wrong time, I felt content knowing things were coming my way I had no way of anticipating.
Things that would also be beautiful.
And things even full of love.
Watching the reunion between those lovers was so beautiful.
Anyone watching it can think of that one person that if reunited with after thirty years just looking into their eyes would bring tears into yours.
I remember how it felt looking into Mr. Volcano's warm eyes after five long years.
I can't even imagine how much more moving it would have been if twenty five more years had passed.
I have an interview today.
A second interview for a job I interviewed for five months ago.
Timing.
I'm a little nervous but I mostly don't care which way it goes.
I want it.
But only if that's the path my life is meant to take.
I trust Timing.
I know that change is headed my way but I have no idea how that's going to manifest.
What it will look like.
Where it might take me.
And not knowing feels amazing.
I love change.
I've changed my hair color so many times I'm like a rainbow.
I've changed jobs-- well I've changed jobs so many times it's kind of insane.
I am an impulsive woman.
I don't even know what I want.
And I'm glad I don't.
I thought about the sorts of qualities I'd want in a partner and I'm not sure what that even looks like anymore.
And I'm glad I have no idea.
When I have no preconceived ideas, no requirements, no specifications for what I want to do or where I want to go or who I'd want beside me, it means I'm open to all of it.
I love to write.
I write truth.
And whatever it looks like I want truth in my life.
My girlfriend told me that when she reads my writing the words just flow out of me.
That it just comes.
And I laughed because whenever I write I do just sit and the words pour out.
Like one long, drawn out sentence.
I never start and come back.
I just write until I have no more to say.
The truth is constantly pouring out of me.
And I think that's a large part of why I lost my love.
Truth is a powerful and frightening thing.
Most people don't dare share what's in their hearts.
They're afraid the world will grind to a hault.
Let our lives lovingly express truth.
And everything else, my career, my lover, all of it, will fall into place.
Because Life does that.
And I embrace all of it.
I embrace the delicious uncertainty of all of it.
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