Time Indeed

I'm tired. 

But I can't sleep. 

In six hours I will be in the sky. 

On a plane. 

Years ago. 

And I mean years ago. 

I used to feel whenever I looked up and saw a plane it was a sign. 

Of hope.

That something was on its way.

Good things were coming.

Good fortune. 

And love. 

And I think at first I imagined it bringing someone to me.

As though if I closed my eyes and just stood still it would happen. 

Whatever it was.

I didn't even know. 

And then years passed and I stopped believing. 

And I didn't have hope when I saw planes flying overhead. 

I felt annoyed. 

And tricked. 

And stupid for placing a promise in something unseen.

And I resented that girls blind faith when none of it was real.

And then last week I looked up and I saw a plane flying overhead and I thought, I'm going to be on one of those. I'm going somewhere. 

I'm no longer waiting.

I'm moving. 

I've sent out an energy into the world and it's been received. 

And reciprocated. 

And blossomed. 

Into something beyond my own expectation. 

And when I look up and see planes I still believe. 

And this time, the hope is trust.

In timing. 

In relationships. 

In the journey that always relentlessly surprises the fuck out of me. 

And my energy is bubbling up inside me ready to scatter the corners of the world. 

For the first time.

Beyond the reaches I have stretched.

This plane held my time. 

And perhaps someone would look up at the sky and see me and believe. 

In something they forgot had been nudging at their core for a very long time. 

A time indeed.