Though thankfully it wasn't in front of a guy I used to have great sex with.
But alcohol was definitely involved.
Because if you're going to make a proper ass of yourself you should definitely be drunk.
Drunkity drunk drunk drunk.
See that's the problem.
When I get drunk I get HONEST with everyone.
And I'm already honest.
But sober I at least generally possess the social graces to know when to keep certain thoughts to myself.
Like you probably shouldn't tell someone you barely know that they're a condescending bitch.
To their face.
But I didn't!
See I could have behaved so much worse.
I just texted someone else that I thought her friend was a condescending bitch.
Which is definitely better.
Totally.
Like.
Far more class.
*Cough.*
I didn't mean to.
I mean, I didn't enjoy hating her.
You know how when you're a kid your friends were always groups of friends and you and your posse did everything together?
And then you grow up and you make friends but they're all from different parts of your life and those friends have their own friends.
And sometimes those friends of your friends really annoy the shit out of you.
But you can't, like, SAY anything.
Life isn't 'Mean Girls' and I can't yell YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US just because she's wearing pants.
I kept thinking if my friend liked her there must be something I was missing.
I loved my friend.
She loved her friend.
If A is congruent to B and B is congruent to C then C really shouldn't be such a cunt.
Right?
Some people just don't vibe.
For whatever reason.
And neither person is wrong.
Except of course in this case I'm fabulous and she's an asshole.
But generally speaking nobody is wrong.
I blame myself.
Because I should have been honest with my girlfriend that I didn't care for her....C.
BUT.
I felt that was terribly immature.
So instead.
I got really drunk and went OFF about how I actually felt.
When it would have been MUCH more mature to articulate my discomfort and dislike calmly and with tact.
So here's my life lesson for you--
No matter how stupid you feel admitting it, if something is your truth, then tell it.
Because it will eventually come out.
And so you should probably do it sober.
So you don't sound like an ass.
She invited her to girls night.
And I couldn't very well be like, geez, Tiffany, do you really need Heather to come?
I mean, I thought it was just going to be us?
Isn't that, like, one vagina too many?
Even thinking that made me feel like I should go slip a note in a boys locker, I was that mature.
Come on, Reese.
You're a fucking adult.
The more, the merrier.
Wrong.
WRONG.
I should have said something THEN.
I fought my own instincts.
Your gut screams things out at you for a reason.
Ignoring it makes you an idiot.
I'd hung out with this other girl several times and each time I always left early.
Each time my resentment grew, which I think is why I lost it that night.
She just had this way of making everything she said to me sound judgemental and condescending.
Or she'd go out of her way to not talk to me which drove me nuts.
I did drink my weight in alcohol that night which likely affected my ability to tolerate someone I didn't care for.
But I ended up leaving early, once again, and texting my friend that I didn't want her inviting that girl with me around anymore.
And that would have been fine if I'd left it at that.
But my friend asked me why I disliked her.
And I may have drunkenly uncorked the ugly truth and let it pour through my iPhone.
I didn't even realize all I'd said until the next morning when I checked my phone and read the texts.
My girlfriend never responded.
There's nothing wrong with speaking the truth.
But it doesn't need to be ugly.
So now I know.
Like I didn't already.
I'm an ass when I'm drunk.
So I should tell the truth sober.
I should tell the truth period.
And I'm not in third grade anymore and I don't have to like everyone.
But I do have to respect my friends enough to trust them with how I really feel about things.
I told another girlfriend about what happened, about what I did.
How I went off about what a judgemental exclusive snatch I thought this girl was and my friend started laughing.
"I can totally see you doing that", she said.
And she just looked at me and smiled.
Because she gets me.
As few do.
And she knows I can be a real balls to the walls bitch.
But she loves me anyway.
Because she's one of the rare few that are a core member of my tribe.
And I am so thankful for that.
And for those who love me anyway.
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