and with a kiss...

You're not going to believe this, but I time travelled.

There was no portal or cosmic rays of light.

I just stood in a spot I've stood before and suddenly everything around me changed.

And I found myself on the exact same eve exactly one year ago.

And because I had time travelled, I knew what was coming. 

Even though it took me hours to realize what I knew.

The thing about time travel is that even if you're back in the same time, you're not the same person.

In entirety.

You know things. 

You've seen and ached and wept over things. 

Those very things that are replaying again tonight for the first time. 

All over again. 

And it was such a subtle shift, 

sudden in its violent polarity, 

from complacency, 

and maybe even disdain, 

to consuming, 

quivering passion.

And there was a moment he even posed the question of pausing, 

and waiting, 

there are other nights, he proposed.

And I nearly shouted, NO! 

because there could never be a night like this, 

for the stars to align in such bizarrely perfect synchronicity  

simply to surprise the absolute fuck out of each of our hearts. 

It was still there. 

All of it. 

The passion. 

The intensity.

The way the world fell away and we suddenly became a black and white movie.

And it was so much. 

Such rich, 

decadent 

satisfaction 

I can't possibly fathom wanting more.

Because it was everything. 

I saw and heard and felt 

each painful longing 

that had torn my heart in shreds 

restored.

Nurtured back to fill my heart 

with such consuming passion 

I felt my pores sing.

Hope.

And I believe.

I believe in the power of connection.

 

When your friends all know the truth, of all that's so clear to the rest of the world,

when your mother and each of your replacement lovers convinced you the whispers of your heart are confused. 

You're in denial.

And projecting. 

And ignoring the cruel reality shattering the longing in each breath.

And then suddenly, you know. 

With absolute, 

unswerving certainty, 

the only conductor of the symphony in your heart is you.

And I trust its call.

And I wait for life's fairytale timing.

And if I could take back all the heartache of the past year to miss the blazing intensity of this one night...

I

 actually 

     wouldn't 

not for all the world. 

Because in this night, 

I held a star, 

right in the palm of my hand.

And it's sparkle was so radiant 

I thought my eyes might see nothing else.

And for the first time, 

in maybe all of my time, 

tomorrow doesn't matter.

Because I tasted the truth.

And I couldn't possibly stop smiling.

Knowing it will always be there.

In spite of each of us.

A part

Of both our stories.

Love.

Unexpected

Surprising 

Overwhelming 

And oh so simple

love

And that's enough.

It is everything.