And he wrote, If that's what you want, that's what you'll get.
And I don't know why, but I suddenly thought of you.
And after our first date, when we were planning the next one, you wrote, Whatever the lady wants.
Remember that?
Back when you were excited to see me?
When after every kiss you exhaled the word Fuuuuck because you couldn't believe how great it was.
Just kissing me.
That all was so long ago.
Back when Sheldon and I used to rock climb every week.
Back when my career was selling jewelry.
Back when I wanted to be famous on YouTube.
But everything in your grey little world crumbled around you and then it was no longer about what the lady wanted.
I never got what I wanted again after you left the theatre in your tux, my red lipstick smeared all over your face.
And that was nine months ago.
Isn't that crazy?
Your profile picture is still the photo I took of you.
And the last photo you posted on IG was six months ago, that photo of our bridge.
It bothered me for months.
And then I realized I should just feel special.
You don't post anything often.
But when you do, it means something.
I thought of you, too, because when I was trying to reconcile you said to me, It shouldn't be this hard.
And I hated you for saying that because it was only so hard because we never saw each other.
But you know what?
Then I met Marvin, and it's been nothing but simple.
There is no drama and no misunderstandings.
He likes me and he thinks I'm a babe.
And he says it.
And you know all those nights you would never come over because there was just something else more pressing than being in my arms?
He always makes time for me.
Christmas Eve he drove forty minutes just to see me for a couple hours after even seeing me the day before and I don't think I've felt more loved all year.
The only time you ever gave me was in between everything else.
Remember how you'd fit me in and give me an hour of your time?
You were right.
It shouldn't have been so hard.
Because when you're compatible with someone you can't wait to be in their arms again.
They aren't your last priority.
He was gone for two weeks and seeing me is his agenda his second night being home.
You would never have done that.
And then you'd make me feel guilty for needing to see you.
Marvin's as impatient to see me again as I am to see him.
And we were never like that.
And I didn't understand.
Because I felt so crazy about you.
And I so desperately wanted us to be something real.
Because you did come hear me sing.
And you were moved to kiss me.
And I thought that was love.
But that's all we had.
That one magic moment.
When I thought my life was a fairytale.
And now I have something so delightfully ordinary.
And I have never felt more beautiful.
And more like myself in a very long time.
I'm worth his time.
And that's already more than you ever gave me.
My darling.
You thought it was me, but you got our story entirely wrong.
The only thing complicated about it
Was you.
And I could never do anything about that.
May your current lover,
And the coming year,
Be full of magic and wonder and inspiration.
And simplicity.
Gorgeous, perfect, simple love.
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