Happy New Year, You

I don't remember what I did last New Year's.

Not because I was so raging drunk I blacked out and don't remember my epic night. 

Because I just don't remember. 

It's a holiday, like St. Patrick's Day, or President's Day, that doesn't instill in me a very strong reaction. 

I'm not really sure why, though I suppose it's because, growing up the month already had my birthday, my brother's birthday and Jesus' birthday.

So by the time we got to the Year's birthday, it was like, eh whatever. 

I like champagne and fireworks but I don't really need to kiss someone at midnight.

If the tradition was fucking someone at midnight, that would be a different story. 

I do like the idea of a clean slate, though.

A new story.

Blank pages. 

The unknown slowly unfolding. 

It's strange we only think about that happening in January when the entire year is a different story falling together each day. 

A girlfriend and I were talking about soul mates, about the idea that there is one person out there for us. 

And we decided the idea that there was only one was absurd. 

This past year I loved several different men. 

In different ways, to varying degrees.

But I would have done anything for each of them.

And that wasn't feigned affection, that was my genuine heart.

The idea of loving more than one person when I was younger would have shocked me. 

I believed love to be so black and white then. 

But the thing is, love, the kind of love that isn't purely selfish, changes and shifts, it listens to the object of its desire. 

And I don't think I ever stop loving any one of them. 

I just learn to store the unreciprocated love and let my heart freely adore another. 

It's a rather beautiful cycle. 

Loss. 

And then something new is discovered. 

And in very rare cases, certain loves never leave you. 

They always remember to wish you a happy new year. 

Some loves are the only ones who text you at midnight.

And that one connection, for that one moment, is enough to remind you, that love exists. 

In quiet corners, on quiet nights. 

Some loves never end.

Their story simply rewrites itself to find its place in every new chapter. 

Book Three.

Hello 2016.