I guess that's the truth with a lot of great joy.
You happen upon it so unexpectedly, the surprise is part of the charm.
I had plans with someone else.
It was coloring night and I had invited a boy (first ever boy to be invited to coloring night, epic shit).
And then my girlfriend texted me about a show.
Some band I'd never heard of but when I looked their songs up online they sounded rad.
Fuck, I wanna go!
But what about coloring night?
I texted the guy and told him I was going to see a show instead because live music trumps everything.
And I felt like the cool kids after downloading venmo and got my ticket and was stoked.
When I got to the venue a girl walked up to me and told me I was stunning.
I love women like you, she said.
And I interpreted that to mean women who wear sequin dresses and red lipstick to a divey venue on a Monday night.
I love women like me too.
My friends were running late so I planted myself amidst the crowd, listening to the opening band.
The singer was incredible.
Being there was incredible.
I forgot how alive being at concerts made me feel.
I suddenly felt 24 and hopeful.
Sometimes I enjoyed being alone.
My friend texted me they were downstairs having a drink but I wanted to keep hearing the band.
I didn't want to be anywhere else.
The band finished and I went and joined my friends.
By then the place was packed and we nearly had to play a game of Marco Polo to find one another.
After an hour or so alone I was happy my friend was standing across from me smiling.
Their excitement was infectious and even though I'd only heard thirty seconds of one of the bands songs I was excited too.
The concert was incredible and it wasn't surprising that I ended up making my way to the souvenir table to snag one of the CDs.
The band encored their encore and it was that euphoric state where it seemed the concert would never end and we'd just stay arm in arm, swaying and singing to the music, not a care in the world, not a thought other than pure enjoyment.
A couple began to walk past me and I looked into the face of the girl and realized who it was.
Dawn! I suddenly yelled, her face more stunned than mine.
It was the girl who almost exactly a year ago I had fallen out with, right on the heels of getting dumped by both my lover and best friend.
Things happen in threes so she was the last one in that trio of disappointment to remove me from her life.
I'd messaged her for the first time just a week or so before asking if she wanted to grab a drink sometime.
But she'd never written me back.
And now here she was, standing in front of me, and the fact she was there flooded my heart and I threw my arms around her and hugged her.
We talked for a minute and I said it was good to see her and she said I looked pretty.
And I hugged her again.
I held on to her so tight and for so long, I didn't even realize how much I needed to hug her, how much my heart needed to feel connected to her until my arms were around her.
Her husband must have seen the overflow of love surging through me because he came up to me and hugged me after I'd finished hugging Dawn.
They left and I felt this wave of peace wash over me.
Who was that? My friend asked.
That was the girl who broke up with me because she didn't think I was a good listener and she thought I was a bad friend. And I hadn't seen her in a year.
Oh my gosh, my friend said.
I looked deep into her eyes and said, Thank you for not breaking up with me.
And she wrapped her arm around me and said, I could never break up with you.
And the music played on and we kept our arms wrapped tightly around each other and I felt so happy.
I could have missed this.
I could be at another bar with other people in some other moment.
But I was here.
And experienced that moment.
And sometimes the deepest needs of our hearts do come true, at the moments we'd forgotten all about them.
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