Amelie got a glint in her eyes, the one that always meant something catastrophic or glorious was about to happen.
She walked up to the bar with all the nonchalance a drunk girl could muster.
Heeeeeeeeey Chops, how's it going? She leaned against the bar with one hand on her hip and I thought to myself, this is never going to work, this guy is going to see right through the crazy girls standing at the end of the bar.
Heeeeeeeey, so whatever happened to that onnnne guy.....Each of Amelie's words dragged out further than the last.
Who, Douglas?
Yeah, yeeeeeeah, Douglas, yeah.
Oh yeah, great guy, he's working at Era now.
And Chops looked right at me after he said that, as if to say, Yeah, I know who you are, that's where he is, go get him, Sazerac.
A moment of disbelief washed over me and in my mind the room faded to black and I was left alone standing there, spotlight on me, as I begun to sing a dramatic musical number.
Now I know....I know where he is.....
The object of Amelie's affection was manning the front of the bar and she wanted to stay for another drink, which I was so totally, obviously okay with.
Let's go let's go let's go....
But no, yeah, absolutely, let's stay.
Let's go ohmygod please let's go I finally get to see him.
But I sat, calmly, at the bar as we engaged the bartender in sassy conversation.
Amelie had only finished half her drink and volunteered we could leave and I protested, no, no, take your time, finish your drink, it's fine.
Let's go let's go let's fucking go.
And then the bartender pissed Amelie off and she said something she didn't mean and was suddenly ready to go.
We got into my car and she started to cry and I was so conflicted because I wanted to run to Douglas but I wanted Amelie to be okay.
We can go another night, are you up to going? Do you wanna just go home?
And she shook her head and lied and said it was fine and I reached for her hand and squeezed as we drove in the dark.
We walked into the new bar and Amelie marched up to the lone bartender standing there.
Hi. Is Douglas working? She asked with a giant grin on her face.
The bartender said she would check and see and went to the kitchen.
She came back and said he would be right out.
I held my breath slightly but was so preoccupied with Amelie.
I kept watching her, trying to gauge if she was okay.
I reached my arm out and stroked her hair.
All of a sudden I saw her face shift and I turned my head to look at what she was seeing and I saw the back of Douglas walking back into the kitchen.
He came out took one look at you and went back there, she said.
I put my hand on her back, It's okay, he doesn't want to see me, it's okay. We know where he is now, maybe we can come back some other night.
I took a sip of my water and felt surprisingly calm.
So much build up over the chance to finally see him again and he just ran away from me.
Like he had the last time I saw him.
I set my water down and looked at Amelie, wondering if she was ready to go.
She looked at me, her eyes darting.
She wiped the mascara smeared underneath each of her eyes and then took a deep breath.
She looked at me intensely and said, I might get arrested.
She hopped down from her bar stool and walked in front of the kitchen doors where she paused.
She raised both of her arms and flung them forward forcing the doors wide open as she dramatically marched into the kitchen.
I made eye contact with the bartender and we both raised our eyebrows but didn't move.
I heard raised voices, though they were muffled and I wondered what she was doing and I also was kind of falling even deeper in love with her in that moment because I knew a part of her was chasing after my ex lover because she refused to accept he wouldn't speak to me.
Suddenly, like some French farce, Amelie came storming out of some door to the left of me, stomping right past me to another door to my right, then coming back to where I was sitting and declared, I can't find him.
Then she stormed out the front of the bar out the main door.
I looked back again at the bartender who returned my gaze in bewilderment.
I have no idea what's going on, I said, and I grabbed my purse and Amelie's.
I started to follow after her but she was already marching back in and she said she wanted to go to the back of the bar so we headed to the dark back corner of the bar where Amelie finally stopped walking and crumbled into a chair and sobbed.
He disappeared, she said, I wanted to ask him about Luke.
I know, I said, it's okay. Do you want to smoke the cigarette Luke gave you?
She nodded her head without making a sound and I went back to the bewildered bartender to ask for matches.
We sat outside taking long drags off the cigarette.
You know, the really funny part is everyone is going to think you're me.
You mean because I went chasing after him calling his name?
We laughed, Yeah. You're the crazy ex girlfriend.
I flicked the cigarette and shook my head.
He ran away from me.
I took a long, slow drag.
I am so important, I nearly whispered.
And I felt happy.
So sublimely, fucking happy.
Just to know where he was, to know I could sit at his bar again and sip a sazerac and feel, just for a moment, connected.
Had I known that cigarette was to be the turning point in our story, I would have savored each drag a little more.
Like that moment before a bomb drops.
The sky was calm, my heart content.
And within 24 hours all of that would be gone and I would lie in the wake of pure chaos.
No comments:
Post a Comment