His Song

Teresa

What the fuck is wrong with you

You bewilder and overwhelm me

Teresa

That's not what I want, that fear and chaos, making me doubt all I know

Teresa

Why were you in there? I walked out, saw, and wanted to scream

Teresa

Just fucking go away, leave, be gone, just go, just leave just fucking GO

Te-ree-sa

I didn't mean it, don't you see? Those things I confessed, not true, no more, I've buried them, ignored them. 

Didn't you believe me, believe when I said I knew how to forget you?

Teresa

Just stop, just stop like I've asked you-

But you have never, never asked me-

TERESA YES I DID

In my silence couldn't you hear? My screams, I am not the man you see here, this has all been some bad dream

Teresa

I lied when I said I'd never block you I lied I went and blocked you so you could feel this numb inside

Teresa

I LIE 

Why do you think you heard the truth? There is no fucking truth, consistent impulse in me, it's dark and frightening and bleek.

Teresa

I don't understand you don't want to don't need you

I will not change I can't change

TERESA I WILL NOT BE THE MAN FOR YOU

I feel like shit when I'm around you reminded of all I am all I've done all I will never do never be for you why won't you fucking release me

Teresa

I fucked up I fuck up get fucked up fuck girls up all while still sometimes thinking of you

But no

Teresa

Fucking Teresa

Not my lady 

Teresa 

Fare

Thee

Well

There

You happy?

I berated you disparaged fucking hated you didn't doubt for a moment that chaos at my work was created by you

But wait

Fuck

Fucking shit

Wait 

It was her and they told me it was her, some tiny girl, and they laughed when they told me, and fuck fuck FUCK why was I so mean, fucking shit

HERE

Here, here's a photo like you asked me

Come here

Like you said to tell you where to find me 

Come see me tonight here

Through the bookshelf, I know I banished you, but please it's not what's real, fuck YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS ME LOVER IT'S NEVER OVER COME HERE

And we can have that moment that you wanted, you can look in my eyes, like you needed, I'll even smile back, I promise 

Come see me tonight come through the bookshelf

We can put this behind us, I should have called you instead of texted

Wait

I will never reach out to you again.

Teresa..

BYE

...............