Creeping up on me and smacking me upside the head.
Totally fine.
And then WHAM.
I can't breathe.
Fucking hell I can't fucking breathe.
And I was driving.
Why am I always driving when I can't stop crying?
And then I suddenly thought
Of her.
Memories flooded my mind of countless hugs, years of men who'd broken my heart, who didn't want me, but her arms were always open.
She always met me when I needed someone to hold my hand.
To walk with me.
To believe there was a man somewhere who would not run.
And I wanted to go to her.
Wanted her arms to comfort me again.
Wanted some semblance of familiar comfort in this constant change.
And I started to.
Go to her.
And then a pang hit my heart, a nerve I'd never felt before.
As quickly as I'd longed for her it began to fade away.
I imagined her standing there looking back at me like What are you doing here
And I didn't trust her
Know her
Believe she would believe for me anymore.
So I kept driving
I drove to arms that were new but that my heart trusted implicitly.
And she believed for me
And she held my hand and walked with me
And I felt my heart long for her once more so I sent a text
I love you
And she never said it back
My heart cried out for her as far apart as our hearts now are
And her heart didn't hear mine
Or maybe it did
And it just had nothing to say
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